Full Tilt by Emma Scott

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Full Tilt
Emma Scott
6/28/2016
Duet book (can be standalone)

https://goo.gl/sbFraj

https://goo.gl/h1DUkp
******* Much love and thanks to the author for providing this beautiful book in exchange for an honest review.

I couldn’t wait to read this. Only my second Emma Scott book, but I knew I would love it. Only reservation going in, I am a heart failure patient, I knew I would be looking at this from a different angle than most. Not just that I can relate to Jonah, I am Jonah. Not sure who was more nervous on my take of the book myself or Emma. All I could get out after I read it was “Wow.” Rest assured it was a good Wow.

Kacey, up and coming rock star, train wreck, drunken Kacey is poured into the back of poor Jonah’s limo after a night of booze induced rioting after her concert. Just what Jonah needed at this hour at his second job. Kacey fueled by the need to numb herself and keep everyone at arm’s length with an Evian bottle of vodka wakes up on the stranger’s couch in a sparsely decorated apartment in the middle of Vegas. Kacey has the look, talent and personality to hit it big, but inside, Kacey is empty and craving love and affection something her father purposely denied her. Does she even want this rock star life? So here she sits on a strangers couch asking him to take her to breakfast before he returns her to her band life. Can Jonah afford this in his tight schedule? No.

“Thanks for being a good guy, Jonah. There’s a shortage in the world”

Jonah, working on a thesis for a Masters of Arts degree from the Carniee Mellon University is a glass blower by trade. He is working on an installation for the prestigious art gallery in the Wynn hotel in Las Vegas. He is on a “schedule”, keeps his circle small and is driven to leave behind a legacy. He doesn’t have the time or the energy for a Kacey type. 18 months ago, Jonah received a heart transplant. Heart failure at 25 that doesn’t happen right? It did to Jonah, a virus settled in his heart and caused heart failure. Jonah is now facing rejection leading to heart failure. His time is limited, he swallows the pills, lives the diet, keeps a routine and makes time for his 6 “people”. He can’t bring another person into this mess just to possibly destroy them and maybe even himself.
“I can’t stand it. I have my circle and that’s it. I don’t want to tell people outside the circle. I don’t want them to have to find out. I don’t let anyone in…”

“And yet,” I said, gulping air, getting a hold of myself. “Here I am.”

“Here you are…” He said, his eyes roaming my face. “Believe me, I didn’t want to let you in. But it was almost as if…”

“What?” I whispered.

“As if I didn’t have a choice,” He said. “I tried to keep [my] walls up, keep to my routine… But you got in anyway.” He gently swiped a tear from my chin. “You feel it too, right?”
I nodded. “Yes.”

Hard as they try to fight it and stick to the schedule and a friendship, it was there, the I already know/knew this person. It wasn’t overly angsty, they had a sweet relationship that developed naturally. I really loved what they both offered as far as being what the other needed and wanted. At the same time they pushed each other out of their bubbles.

“I love you,” I said. “God, I never thought this would happen to me.”

“But it did,” she whispered. “It happened and all we can do now is take care of each other. Live in the little moments, right? Just like we promised. The little moments. We have so many. Thousands upon thousands.”
If you are ready for a great and emotional read, then grab this up in a hurry. Along the lines of Me before you.

******As the heart failure patient, I truly appreciate how this was handled by Emma. It wasn’t overly medical but gave enough pertinent info regarding transplant rejection and heart failure to have an understanding of what Jonah was living, and dying, with each day. The thoughts of Jonah mirror mine. Those feelings in the Dr office, not the exam room. The I can’t bring you into this nightmare, but I need you here feelings. The anger that comes with the fact that life is not fucking fair at times. The desire to live the “moments”…. All of them. I understand the “why go to the Dr when my body will tell me when it’s time”, why waste those moments at a Dr or hospital. She did a remarkable job of capturing the medical side of heart failure as well as the emotional impact on the patient and their family. I appreciate the honest portrayal of CHF and rejection. I want to throw my flip flop at the tv when transplant and chf patients are running on a beach right after transplant… No pills…no wheezing. So thank you Emma you nailed it. ❤

 

 

 

 

 

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